Losing Motivation :(

I think I must be pmsing this week!  I am cranky and everything I hear and read grinds on my gears.

I think I must be under a lot more stress than I think.  I need a vacation!

I am losing motivation with my weight loss.

And though I went in to see my JC consultant.  There is no facade with her.  I tell her exactly what is going on with me.  I am completely honest with her.  It is such a relief.  I don't have to fake anything.  If I am feeling like shit...I tell her.  I don't have to put on a brave face.  I feel like I am constantly walking through life with a brave face!  Fake a smile for my epicure team.  Fake a smile for my family.  Fake a smile for each of the executive I sit on.  Fake a smile for my fellow leaders.  Fake a smile for my boss.  I just feel like a have to fake it all the time.  That there isn't any toleration for the real me.

What does this mean?

Does it perhaps mean I am surrounding myself with the wrong people?

Does it mean that I have a misunderstanding of what ppl expect of me?

Am I having a mid life crisis?

Do I not fit in with my co workers and friends anymore?

I have so many questions going through my head these days.  Maybe I am more stressed than I think I am.

*sigh*

Oh well it is another week.

The plus is I was down 1.3.  Hopefully I can figure out my head and get re motivated.  Go up on the scale will not help my funk.

Until next week.

TM

See you later 230's!!!

Woot! I went into today's weigh in expecting to be up on the scale.

You see I have been sick for the last 4 days and not following my meal plan 100%.

And I missed zumba last week, and haven't done any exercise.

Plus my comfort when I am sick is warmed ice tea mix with lemon juice. It's kinda like

a neo citron, but with out the medication. And it is full of sugar.

So I really didn't think I had any chance of losing this week.

I am pleased to say that some how I am down 1.7! YAY me!

So what that means is bye bye 230s!!!!! I am really excited about this! That means 30 lbs lost in 3 months. This is a big celebration for me.

I am starting a new round of the biggest loser challenge. It is a 12 week challenge, and my goal is to lose 30 lbs in the 12 weeks. That is 2.5 a week. I know this is a lofty goal, but I feel pretty confident that I can do it.

Here's to another great week!

Cheers

TM

Disappointed?

Last week was a big week! It was Easter weekend. Yikes!!

Lucky for me, I am not a huge chocolate fan. Yeah that's right...I said it!

But I was planning on having a family dinner, and partaking of the "normal" food.

Thursday I attended my regular weekly rumba class.

Sunday, my family started Geo Caching. If you are not familiar with Geo Caching, I highly recommend checking it out. So fun! You can find information at www.geocaching.com

You can also follow my families adventures and partake in this new fun adventure. OUr family blog is here

Sunday night was easter dinner. I was proud of the decisions I made. I treated myself to a carrot cake muffin with cream cheese icing. I was smart on the portion size. and I didn't go back for seconds. I was satisfied and happy to share a special meal with my family.

Monday we decided to go out geo caching again. We were gone for 3.5 hours and hiked approximately 10km. Boy was a sore last night!

I had a feeling going into this mornings weigh in that I was not going to be happy with the #. I was really striving to see the 220s. And though, my muscle were hurting, and that means water retention. But I was hopeful.

Sure enough, when weighing in, I didn't get below 230 :(. I was visibly upset, but my consultant reminded me that more than a 2 lbs loss on easter weekend would be next to impossible.

So I will take it. And work towards hitting the 220s next week.

I will be starting a new round of Biggest loser challenge next week too. The last challenge ended a week or so ago and I placed 5th. Not where I wanted to be. But I will take it. Aiming to win it this time around! My goal is to lose 30 lbs during the 12 week challenge.

Here is my before picture for the challenge - note: no makeup or shower before this pic. I cannot believe I am posting it here. I must really be committed to change!

Have a great week all!

Last week Blech! This week Woo hoo!

Last week was a yucky week for me. The scale was not kind and I only lost 0.1.

And though, I put it behind me and moved on to the next week.

There were MANY temptations last week.

First, my youngest volunteered me to bake cupcakes for hi

s music class.

Much to my dismay I made some super yummy cupcakes.

My huge WIN for the week was Thursday night.

The cupcakes had been calling to me all day long. About 8pm I ventured from my bed room, and ask my husband if he would finish a cupcake if I took just 1 bite. He said sure. My husband never turns down sweets. I walked over to the cupcake holder, picked the glass top off...it felt like it weighed 100 lbs. I stood there for a moment, and then gently placed the lid back on the container, and walked away. I decided one bite of cupcake wouldn't be enough for me. I would want more. And more wasn't an option. So I walked away! Yay me!

Wanna know how hard that was? Take a look at my cupcakes......they bring ALL the boys to the yard!

Friday night I went out with the girls to see The Hunger Games. I knew going in that I was going to allow myself popcorn and a coke. I LOVE Coke!! I haven't had coke in 3 months!!! So I treated myself to a bag of buttered popcorn and coke. My win was that I didn't feel guilty, and when I was full of popcorn, I passed the unfinished bag to my son. I had prepared myself, by not eating some of my JC snacks that day.

Sunday was a rough day as I had my epicure open house. I was busy from the moment I opened my eyes, until about 6pm. So I didn't follow my menu very well. I believe I missed breakfast. I snacked through out the day. But I made sure I ate my JC lunch and dinner. In the end I think it balanced out.

I was a little nervous going into weigh in today b/c of Friday night and Sunday. But I was willing to accept what ever happened. I was down 4 pounds!! WOW! I am pleasantly surprised, and I think my JC consultant was too!

I am still doing zumba every thursday. And I will continue to do so. I love it now!!

I would love to get the Zumba game for my xbox, but money is pretty tight around here. And $160 a week for jenny craig is tough. But I am committed to this journey, and if I have to cut other financial things out, then that is the sacrifice I will make.

I am over 1/4 complete of my journey. Still a long ways to go. But baby steps.

Thanks for everyone who is cheering me on! I truly appreciate it :)

Have a great week everyone!

TM

Great Week!

I am pretty happy with the last week :)

When I met with my JC consultant last week, I expressed my growing craving for Mary Brown's Chicken. I knew that this craving would continue to eat at me (pun intended) if I didn't do something about it.

So we planned into my menu for me to treat myself that night.

At dinner, it was nice to sit down with my family and have a treat. I was smart about it. I took a piece of chicken and some fries with gravy. Finished them. Waited. And was not feeling full. So I had another piece of chicken. I waited, and still didn't feel full. So I had a third piece of chicken. In the end I didn't feel guilty eating 3 pieces of chicken. I didn't feel over stuffed. I was happy with my decision. I made sure to drink a lot of water the next couple of days. To prevent retaining water from the food. I am happy that I allowed myself this treat. I then moved on, and followed my JC menu for the rest of the week. No regrets, and no more cravings.

Thursday was back to Zumba. The week before there wasn't a class, so I was feeling a little nervous about starting again. We were starting a new session, so I was a little nervous about that too. I was soo excited that when we started up I felt confident, a little more sure of myself, and I didn't feel like I was going to keel over and die! What a HUGE accomplishment! I am really enjoying zumba now!! I think after this set, I might just be ready to take a class instructed by my dear sweet friend Zumba Ren! I know she will be an awesomely fun instructor!!

I also had a very nice compliment from a fellow zumba surviver. After class she came up to me and said "wow! you are looking thinner thinner each week". What a beautiful thing to hear from an almost stranger!

This week we are having dinner at friends. I am feeling pretty confident that I can make good decisions and still stay on track.

I am looking forward to saying good to the 230's!! Don't think I will make that goal this week, but I am certainly going to try :)

Have a great week everyone!

Love

TM

20lbs gone...Finally!!!

Well it took a bit longer than I wanted, but I finally hit the 20lb mark!

Goodbye 250's and 240's!!

Not going to see you guys again.

I am slower adding more and more activity into my life.

I have begun walking on the treadmill...not regularly, but more than I was.

Trying for a good week this week.

First Month Done!

Well it's be an interesting month. Ups and downs. But in the end I am proud of what I have accomplished.

Here were the highlites and lows of the month
- I started ZUMBA. For someone who has 2 left feet, doesn't feel sexy, and it completely out of shape. This was a challenge. The first 3 classes I felt like I was going to die. The 4th classes seemed a little easier. I think I am getting the hang of it. One of our songs is LMFAO's Sexy and I know it. I am looking forward to learning this routine so I can share it with the boys. They LOVE that song!

-My cousin Matthew came to visit for a few days and we spent a day at WEM (West Edmonton Mall). That meant I needed to "eat out" for 2 meals in one day. I felt quite confident in my choices, and I think those contributed to me loss this week. I am not saying eating out is something you should get used to when trying to lose weight, but I am feeling confident that I can make good choices when I have to. That will serve me well this weekend when we are away from a Swim Meet.

-My family is going through some serious stressors right now. The challenges I am facing are the toughest I have ever faced. I am not dealing with it the best I possibly can. I know I need to ask for help, and put some things in place to take care of my own mental state...I am working on it. However, I haven't fallen completely apart yet - this is the saving grace right now. I never know what the next hour will bring. I am taking things minute by minute. As I type this blog I receive a text message from my 12 year old at school. I am trying to breathe, and not freak out. Need to book a massage!

-I have a great support system of friends who are cheering me on. This comforts me daily.

-I have accepted that set back will happen. When I stumble, I remember to pick myself up, dust myself off, and move forward. There is no looking back. If you keep looking back, you will just keeping tripping.

So with those lessons learned, I move into a new month. With a fantastic weigh in today, and a loss of 3.8, it brings my total weight loss for this month to 13.8. Yay me!



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Week 3: Sadness is not a friend to weight loss

Well it's been an emotionally week. And to be honest I don't really feel like posting right now.

My 12 year old (soon to be 13) is struggling, emotionally. He feels that he doesn't fit in. That no one likes him, everyone is talking about and laughing at him...basically his self esteem is non existent. Some of the kids teases him at school....for the most ridiculous things, and he does't have the coping skills at this point to deal with it. This leaves us with an extremely sad little boy, who doesn't think he life is worth living. You can imagine how this throws a mom for a loop.

My week consisted of crying, sleeping, not eating as much as I should, low energy, more crying, yelling out, cursing the insensitive kids who are teasing him, more crying, more sleeping, and everything in between.

So I fully expected to put on weight this week. I guess the positive side is that I didn't put on. I didn't go back on old habits and soothe my sadness with ice cream, or chips. YAY me!!

Well today is a new week and I am going to try my best to make it a better one.

Till next week.

Tina Marie

Week 2: Results

Happy Tuesday everyone!!

Let's start the day with a tip: Jeans can weight 1.5-2 lbs. DON'T weigh in wearing jeans :)

Last week was a good week.

Tuesday night I had my Rose Recognition Ceremony for my fantastic Epicure Team!!

It was a night of flowers, desert, and chocolate! Surprisingly, I did not feel tempted. I had saved my Jenny Smores bar for that night, and enjoy it while the other ladies nibbled on treats. It worked out well. Others DID enjoy the Chocolate fountain though...

Thursday I worked a breakfast party for 2 ladies who were celebrating their birthday. It was a birthday tradition for them to have Chocolate Scones drenched in Chocolate butter. They smelled and looked delicious! But I did not partake! It wasn't hard to turn them down, this is how I know I am motivated.

The rest of the week went fairly smooth. My husband was making burgers last night and they smelled wonderful!! The cheese melting on them looked gourmet, lol

I mentioned this to my JC Consultant and she suggested I make a point of having some the next time, to satisfy my craving. That way I won't binge. I think I will take her up on that suggestion.

So all in all great week. And I am down 2.7 lbs.

Yay me!

On to week 3

Have a fabulous week everyone.

Love and hugs

Tina Marie

Week 1 Results!

Well I survived my 1st week of a healthier me :)

I Zumbad, I ate healthier, and I generally felt better...mentally and physically.

I had a few challenges. My middle son Joshua had his birthday party on Sunday. There were candies and cupcakes and temptations. However, I resisted and did not give in to the sweets.

I had a few meetings to attend this week as well, and each one came with seeing my friends drinking their Tim Hortons and Starbucks. Yikes! That was a hard one.

But my strength paid off and I was rewarded on the scale. According to the Jenny Craig scale I am down 7.3 lbs! Woo hoo!!!

I know that the first week you always lose bigger. That there is water weight, and my air travel weight. But I am happy none the less.

I realize that the next 2 weeks will show what I am really capable of, and I am excited to see that.

So yay me! On to week 2!

My Goal!

Mission:

To look GREAT in this dress for our Epicure Conference in August

I bought this dress 3 years ago in Vegas when I had lost all my weight.

It was a little snug when I purchased it, and was a goal dress.

I am sooo looking forward to finally wearing it....and looking HAWT in it!

3 top reasons this is my goal....

1) B/c it is a beautiful dress

2) B/c it will mean I have reached my half way point

3) B/c I won't need to spend money on a new dress for conference

P.S.....I am feeling yesterdays ZUMBA workout today. In my knees, calves and mostly back. I definitely had a workout! Bring on next Thursday!

Day 3 and Zumba!

Holy schmoly!!! Now that was an exercise class!! Someone please come and massage me :)

Today was my first time ever trying zumba! I wanted to try it as it wanted to introduce some exercise into my new healthier lifestyle, to compliment my Jenny Craig commitment.

Remember I mentioned that I didn't exercise from day 1 the last time I was with Jenny, and I think that was a downfall to my success. I didn't start building good fitness habits from the get go. So when I stopped with Jenny, the lbs came back. That is not going to happen this time!

So anyway...today was Day 1 of Zumba. The instructor was very positive and fun. The music was fun and upbeat. And holy crud did we move!!!

Here are the 6 things I learned from my class today

1) I am REALLY out of shape!!!

2) My legs have no idea what my arms are doing, and neither of them are speaking to my hips!

3) Water is my best friend!

4) I need new shoes.

5) I look like a fool when I dance!

6) I CANNOT give up!!!

Ok, # 5 is completely learned yet. I am going to have remind myself of this daily! For me...Zumba is NOT fun....yet!! But I am hoping that if I stick it out, by the end, I will love it. I remember when I started the running room. I HATED running! But I stuck out the first few weeks, and by the end I was loving it. I can't wait till I am feeling a little fitter and I can start running again. My goal is to be running by the end of February. Oh crud...I just put it out there....so now I have to do it!

My other goal is to fall in love with Zumba so I can take a class instructed by my friend Lorena. She is such an amazing woman and so fun....I know her class would be freaking fantastic! But I am pretty sure that I took it, at this fitness level, I would want to kill her by then end!

I am also on day 3 of Jenny and things are going well. Yesterday I was pretty hungry for most of the day. And I did have some chocolate cravings last night. But I stuck to menu and didn't falter. Yay me!!

Feeling pretty good. Will check in again soon.

With love and respect

Tina Marie

Day 1....It all starts here!

I'm back!
My trip to Leader's Summit was A-MAZE-ING!!!!
I came home with soo many take aways, and am excited for everything that is going to happen this year!

It all starts with ME! I have always known that, and for the most part I have lived that way. But....I mean however, I don't ALWAYS live that way. I tend to get stuck in funks, and can't find the tools to dig myself out. Coming home this weekend I have many tools in my arsenal that are going to help keep the funk at bay.

This morning I had my first meeting with my new Jenny Craig Consultant. Her name is Alaina and I am feeling like I struck gold!!! From the moment I sat down I felt like we we in sync! She is very straight forward and to the point. That is exactly what I need. I don't want to be coddled and spoken to with sugar coating. Tell me like it is!

My weight was a little high, but that is to be expected considering I flew in at 10pm last night, and spent 5 days hanging with my girls, lol. That's ok. It just means I will have a bigger loss next week :)

I now eaten my first meal and it was yummy.

Now I am going to take the day to relax and try and recoup from my travels.

Have a fantastic day everyone.

Love and respect
Tina Marie

Vacation! Not!

Well I arrived in Sunny...er eh....rainy Victoria.

I love this city. I have always said if I ever moved anywhere this is where I would go.
I am a water person, and this city with all its charm and beauty...right on the water.... It just my thing! And don't get me started about the food ;) I always feel so relaxed when I am here. It's like a second home. And now that the sun is starting to peek out, I feel my mood starting to brighten.

I am lying here in my room (exhausted because I didn't sleep last night) waiting for my dear friend and roommate, Nancy Watts to arrive.

Once she get's here we are going to jet downtown and hit the Noodle Box. It is one of our favourite restaurants and a must EVERY TIME we come to Victoria. Unfortunately when I was here last summer, I didn't make it over. So it has been a couple of years since my last visit. Where to heck is she? I am starving!!

After we orgasm at the Noodle box we will walk back to the hotel (to burn off the calories - yeah right) and stop at a store for snacks. I am hoping we will have our heads on straight and purchase sensible snacks like fruit and yogurt and such. But who knows maybe a few bags of doritos, and jelly beans, and crap will mysteriously make it back to the room. And of course a bottle or 2 of wine will need to be acquired. Hey - I said I was going to be reasonable this trip, not a Food Saint!

I'll post a pick of our stash later.

Ciao

2 years too long!!!

Well it's been 2 years since I left my weight loss Journey :( I am ashamed to say that I put on almost all 50 lbs that I lost with the help Jenny Craig in 2009/2010.

I could make excuses and go on about this that happened and that that happened, but bottom line is I just didn't follow through. Didn't follow through with the education I learned. Didn't follow through with the exercise regimes I started. Didn't follow through with the promises I made to myself.

I feel like crap. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I feel. My self esteem has hit the toilet. My positive personality has taken a nose dive. And my health is the pits. All because I was too lazy to do what I knew had to be done. How pathetic is that?

But here's the upside of all that.

1. I know EXACTLY what I did wrong last time. And I know EXACTLY what I have to do this time!

2) I have hit rock bottom again, and there is no where to go but up!

3) I have an extremely supportive group of family and friends who will help me back up.

4) I lost the weight before, and I KNOW I can do it again!

Last night I swallowed my pride and walked back into the Jenny Craig location I used to go to.

I met with a lovely program director and walked through what I did, what I didn't do, what I want, where I am going, and what results I want. The plan is in place. Next Tuesday (after I return from my trip to Victoria) I will meet with my new consultant and get this train rolling.

I also registered for a Zumba class here in Town. Every Thursday morning for the next 8 weeks I will be making a fool of myself on the dance floor. I am soo nervous as I am the most uncoordinated person on the face of the earth. BUT I hear that Zumba is really fun, and I need to do something to get started. So fun will ease me back into my new healthier lifestyle.

The next 5 days I will be away in Victoria. I am going to try my best to make good choices w/o Jenny there to help. I will also take this opportunity to treat myself to some of my favourite foods that I won't be having for awhile. I don't think Primerib is on the Jenny menu :)

One meal at a time will be my motto this time around.

Wish me luck!